Humour: #barbarablogs, Rabbits

Sad rabbit injustices #barbarablogs

For more of Barbara’s blogs, visit the archive at #barbarablogs!

Hello, my furry and not-so-furry friends! It’s Barbara Rabbit here again, and today I’d like to talk about a very serious topic. I’m usually pretty happy, but some days, I’m quite a sad rabbit.

Lots of things in my life are very good. I like where I live, mostly. I have nice brothers. My human parents are pretty good. But sometimes things are not quite to my liking. There are often times when I don’t consider life to be fair. And I’d like to tell you about some of those times today.

What makes me a sad rabbit

Sometimes I have to go in my cage. They try and call it a “house” to make it sound better, but really. Come on. I know it’s a cage. It might be big but it’s not as big as having the whole room to play in.

Gingee goes on the stairs. The stairs worry me. I don’t feel happy until he’s back.

Barbara and her daddySometimes, after we’ve had cage time, Ned and Gingee get let out before me. I’m the oldest and the biggest and it’s really not fair.

When my daddy is carrying me down the stairs, there is a mirror rabbit who has the exact same daddy and that is just weird. And she stares at me quite rudely.

The vacuum ate my poo and won’t give it back.

The radiator isn’t always on. I love the radiator. It’s nice and warm and I get to cuddle up to it. But for some reason, like for the whole of August, it wasn’t on. Why not?

On a similar note, sometimes the sun isn’t out and I can’t sit in my sunny patch of floor. I love having daytime naps in the sun (inside only, of course. This lady doesn’t go outside!). Why can’t the humans arrange a bit more sun for me?

Sometimes one of my parents is sitting in the exact spot that I want to be sitting in. How rude!

I am not allowed to eat cheese. It smells good and I like most food. Why can’t I try it? Also I had a chocolate biscuit once and I’d like to have another.

When my daddy cleans out our room, he closes the door. So we can’t go in while he’s in there. And then he comes out and yes, it’s lovely that we have new hay and my toys are more visible, but the room doesn’t have my lovely scent all over it again.

My parents get disproportionately annoyed with me when I try and nibble at their cables. If you don’t want them eaten, don’t have them, is all I can say.

My ear fur gets white patches in the summer and my parents call me Mouldy Ears. So rude.

So many problems! No wonder I’m a sad rabbit from time to time.

How I show my displeasure

Barbara the sad rabbitIt’s okay though, because I have some tricks up my sleeve. (Note: I don’t wear sleeves. But sometimes I like to put my head in other people’s!)

  • Thumping. It’s an old trick but a good one. Run around your house thumping and you’ll certainly get everyone’s attention.
  • Making a run for it. If I get the sense that my humans are trying to give me a “cage feed” (read: leave me imprisoned for the day but think some pellets will make up for it), I will push past their hand, ignore the pellets (this is difficult, I admit!) and run out either into the main room or maybe even into the hallway. It feels good to assert my independence!
  • Peeing on things. I am really good at this. I like carpet a lot because it’s so soft.
  • Chewing some wires. When they try and take them off me, I just clamp down more. Sometimes while thumping and shaking my head. I’m pretty strong.
  • Flicky feet. My humans speak pretty good rabbit, and they know that this means I’m very annoyed. Also, I can get up quite some height when I do this!
  • Finding somewhere to hide and glaring. I’m really good at glaring.
  • Convincing a smaller rabbit to get revenge for me. I’ve got Ned to chew up a phone charger before now. He’s small and cute and had never done it before so no one suspected him!

My friends, I hope that these tricks help you to find relief from a sad rabbit life and move into being more in control.

Do feel free to tell me the dreadful injustices you’re suffering. I know it’s not just me who goes through this!

Until next time!

 

0 thoughts on “Sad rabbit injustices #barbarablogs

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