Pregnancy

Pregnancy problems I never expected

I’ve had (touch wood!) a really good pregnancy so far, actually. But I’ve still had a few weird pregnancy problems that I would never, ever have expected. No book that I’ve read (and I’ve read a few!) has mentioned any of these ones!

Once you’ve got that positive test, taking pregnancy tests is addictive. I took three of the fancy ones and then about 10 cheap ones off Amazon. I only stopped because I ran out. Oh, and then I bought one of the very posh digital ones and took that too. Honestly, I’d still be doing it if I wouldn’t get weird looks buying them with a huge belly!

When you do the washing up, your bump gets very wet. And cold. And at first you can’t tell, because, well, it’s just a bit of a splash and it’s warm water at the time. But then it’s two hours later and your jumper, your maternity vest and the big stretchy jersey waistband of your maternity jeans are all still damp and your belly is still cold. Lovely.

Rabbits getting too close - the least of all pregnancy problems!Baby will kick. You know that. But did you know that baby can kick things outside as well? If I have my laptop tray on my lap, kick! If I sit too close to my desk at work, kick! Sometimes cuddly rabbits get a little tap from the baby as well. They usually nudge back – that’s rather sweet, actually.

You will need the loo a lot. Again, not a surprise. But did you know this bit? Sometimes you think you kind of need the loo while you’re sitting or lying down, and then you get up and this big baby head falls down right into your bladder and you have to run like mad to make it there in time. No one ever told me that!

And, on that note, I have been known to leave the bathroom and immediately turn back round to pee again. Infinite loop of loo.

You may forget that the bump is there. I bash into things a lot these days. It’s particularly tricky as we’re doing so much moving of furniture lately so things are always in different places! But I keep on forgetting that my body is a different shape and I need to leave room for this belly to go ahead of me.

Nightmares. Some are awful. I still can’t talk about the worst one I had in early pregnancy, but suffice it to say that it had me running down the stairs at 1am to cuddle Gingee while I wailed and promised him I’d always, always, always take good care of him. He’s a very patient rabbit, fortunately. The nightmares mainly stopped around week 12 or so for me, thankfully.

Colleagues and friends who’ve never been pregnant will be terrified of your moving belly. Not going to lie, sometimes I am too. It looks freaky. Alien-like. As pregnancy problems go, that one’s kind of fun though – I like freaking people out.

People you don’t really know will ask you weirdly personal questions. I see you once a month at work meetings and you want to talk about perineal massage? Really? Let’s not. I was prepared for the strangers trying to have a feel of the belly, but not the acquaintances who suddenly want to talk about my ladyparts.

Maternity clothes do not always fit all the way to the end. Sometimes you can size up and they still won’t. (Hi, H&M!) Don’t blame the belly 100% of the time. Your chest deserves some credit too.

Your one pair of comfortable shoes will start to smell bad because you wear them every single day. You may decide you don’t care and move full time into wearing Birkenstocks, even to work.

(Please note: I do know that none of these are true pregnancy problems, and I’m very lucky to have had such an easy pregnancy – I’ve heard them referred to as “unicorn pregnancies”. In general, it’s pretty good. Nice blood pressure, no bleeding, not too much pain, nausea mostly gone now… all good things! Of course, I’m only 30 weeks pregnant. I don’t want to tempt fate!)

It’s not just me, is it? What are your weirdest pregnancy problems?

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